My thoughts

So, today two of my friends and I went to see “staying alive”. Neway let me just say I woke up so early today, her puppy Binky.. woke me up by opening the door to her room… then he lays down as flat as possible… and slowly scooted his self over to me as if he was atempting to get to me as steathly as possible… which was funny cause I had half my eyes opened slightly. Watching his movement the whole time. Which I regret later cause once he got real close to me he licked my face >.

Distraction is funny, I’ve never really checked other girls out until now. Since I’m no longer taken or is involved.. I see girls in a whole new perspective. I guess they’re not so bad after all…. befoer I never even gave them a chance. I just classify them into the same group as I would a male friend. Now.. I guess there could be something to them but meh… im not rdy to move into another relationship. I’m still trying to get over my current one. Its funny how we don;t even talk anymore. I guess… in a few more weeks, I would be totally over her.. my progress amazes me.. well now Its all thanks to Zhenni for helping me out and all my other friends. Thxs. and CO… thank god for CO. but to tell you the truth.. if she came back to me.. I might just forgive her.. but thats only 35% chance I woudl do that. Cause now… she’s gonan have to win back my heart if she chooses to come back… lets face it. My arms arent wide open for her anymore. I’ve been hurt enough. My barriers are nwo placed back up and im happy with just myself. Its amazing how she tore through my barrier and got straight to me. lolz, yeah but its back up now and even tougher than before.

I hate love.
I hate this feeling.
I hate doubts.
Why do I miss you so much?

btw… I might delete this whole blog.

wow… everytime… I dont knwo why… when it comes to you… I turn into a comeplete geek… and have no clue on how to conversate with the opposite gender.. its like you guys just suddenly sshifted and morphed into a different species all together with navtive language. XD
I’m usually so fly with teh ladies…. but when face to face against you… I melt away and go completely idiotic. this must be love. I love you.

Will you ever?

I don’t think you will
ever fully understand
how you’ve touched my life
and made me who I am.

I don’t think you could ever know
just how truly special you are
that even on the darkest nights
you are my brightest star.

I don’t think you will ever fully comprehend
how you’ve made my dreams come true
or how you’ve opened my heart
to love and the wonders it can do.

You’ve allowed me to experience
something very hard to find
unconditional love that exists
in my body, soul, and mind.

I don’t think you could ever feel
all the love I have to give
and I’m sure you’ll never realize
you’ve been my will to live.

You are an amazing person
and without you I don’t know where I’d be.
Having you in my life
completes and fulfills every part of me.

hey bloggie boy…. ya lonely? oi yeah M lonely as well so dont worry ur not alone. I’m so tire today.. I know.. all day song has been going on and off reminding me of her. THe most powerful one was…. Kelly clarkson - Becasue of You. I almost brokedown again… at work.. luckily no one saw. And I manage to regain my composure. Lol…. I was so tire I almost faint bloggie. Too bad there’s no one to share this all with except you. okie.. im heading off to bed bloggie.. im felings fatigue all of a sudden. these pills are not helpng out with my headaches arrghh. I wish.. I wish she would just come back into my life.. but.. you know bloggie.. I don’t think she will. oh well…. maybe one day she might… and I wish im still hereon that day she decides to.. oh.. btw I won a romantic cruise for two on the craibbean … I wish I can ask her and she would say yes.. but I doubt it… *sigh* guess these two ticket will just have to be thrown away. I dont know who to give it to. night.. bloggie boy.