My thoughts

Man this sucks. I’m not looking forward to it. I should be but im not. There has been tons of disappointment this winter. I think I’m slowly withering away. THe headache are back. THe food problem is back. My body is pure crap. I hate myself more and more each day. ughh….

“Can somebody tell me when will I feel like myself gaain?
And how long will it be? till I can face this reality.”

god im feeling so emo x.x; ermmh yea. bb laters.

Hey folks, mainly directed towards the people that actuall read this stuff. it’s been decades sice I posted and so sry for that. Its just things has been rocky lately. Well I’m back home finally. thxs to help from my frens such as Zack and Tiff ( im so sry tiff. but you know things between us could just never work out now. maybe if both of us weren’t seeing someone then perhaps it would have worked out. But we’re not and it wont.) And Zhenni, thxs for being there. It was fun you know. lol, and next time dont pour water on your stuff. ( water+ electroonic = bad :P ) Lol, yeah on now onward to a different subject. I’ve found out recently that the urge to Die is back…. yeah dont really know why but its there. Like last night, I seriously thought about overdosing myself with pills. And see the result. Would my internal organ be able to handle ir or would it be fried? Hell… I even thoght about just slitting the veins on my wrist ( upward not across. across wont kill you just hurts u) and see how long I can last and measure th amount of blood loss I need to endure before the many body functions would start to slur ( the medical facts say 25% blood loss is the extreme lvl at which the body starts underegoing changes.) And until I pass out eventually from blood loss. Then I thought… hey why not just take some sleeping pills… then go biking at a busy trafiic late at night. That would have been the mostpainfu bul not guaranteed to die though. I don’t know.

so… let me start off by saying that I had another crazy dream. Yes, Kai you crazy pervert but this time… it was even more crazy than that first time…. I was.. in some kind of training school.. no it was more of a resort.
anyway im not in the mood to tell the whole story… so im going to get straight to the point. There was alot of sexs. Between me and my gf.. and other people. It was like we were in some crazy sex cult and they were converting us into sex crazed freaks.

and now for another totally different subject.

I think me and my gf are coming io a point where… I don’t lnow how to say it but… its tough. Its like that porcupine effect. the closer we get the more we hurt each other.. mentally. I don’t know why but its pains me deeply now knowing thaat shes not feeling well. And that she’s keeping stuff hidden. …5:45 am… what am I doing up at this ungodly hour. Must be erghh. w/e. I just want to tell her everything is alright… but that is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes i think I’ve almost hit that breaking point where matters just seeems to make no sense at all…. logic are thrown out the window, tossed aside. I guess this is what you call “love”. what are the contradiction to love and what are the intradiction? I think im going crazy, er,,,, I catn even thinkl straight right now… nor type correctly… I think I’ll leave the post at this. g nites.

Well I guess I have finally found the one person in this word that I have been waiting for my entire life. and today we made a decision that would foreve alter my life and hers. <3 I will update tomorrow on this. I’m a bit exhausted from training my priestess ( onichii) in Priston Tale. And its also 1am. Goodnight.

Rootkit in your system.

lol, rkr. well who knew eh. all I have to say is… that is how u can hack online games :)
lolz. nub hacker need not do. Anyone esle. feel free to do so.
just go to your local store and purchase ur sony CD for undetectable hacks :)